The Official Septina Nash Website
(Video Goddess For Hire)

This remarkable footage of flying penguins was captured by A BBC nature crew and released on April 1st of this year. Isn’t it spectacular?

My pet penguins don’t fly, but if they did there would probably be some more rocking music playing for them in the background.

Today my book is finally being unleashed upon the public—unleashed like a wild tiger, hooray!!!

In order to celebrate this momentous book occasion, my publishers have stationed agents in homes across the United States on October 31st and authorized them, for one night only, to give out official Penguins of Doom celebratory candies to any child who delivers the secret Penguins of Doom password phrase, “TRICK OR TREAT”.

We’re expecting millions of kids to participate and collect billions of dollars worth of chocolate bars, hard candies, and candy corn, all in celebration of me and my book. Costumes are encouraged, and you might even be able to purchase a pumpkin and carve it into a Quinn o’ Lantern to resemble my triplet brother’s head. Have fun and remember the penguins!!!

Starring Septina and Quinn in: "Pre-Order Mania!"
So your book can be pre-ordered on Amazon now?	And in France and Japan, because of my fashion sense and anime-style antics.
So a pre-order is when you buy something that's not available yet, so you get the very first available shipment?	Mmm-hmm... I wonder if I can pre-order a flying hovercar with a robotic driver!
Images © Greg R. Fishbone

Pre-Order Kits

In the spirit of making your pre-order experience as effective as possible, author Greg R. Fishbone is offering a Penguins of Doom pre-order kit that includes:

1. Penguins of Doom cards with all the information a bookseller would need to place a pre-order for you;
2. An autographed bookplate that can instantly transform an ordinary copy of The Penguins of Doom into an autographed copy;
3. A letter from main-character Septina Nash, thanking you for your purchase; and
4. A chance to win an original Penguins of Doom manuscript page, suitable for framing.

Within the US, just send an envelope addressed to yourself with 41 cents of postage (to cover the rate increase coming up in May) to:

THE PENGUINS OF DOOM
P.O. Box 541401
Waltham, MA 02454-1401

If you want the bookplate signed to a specific person, please spell out the name in your most legible print.

You may already be pre-ordering a copy of the next Harry Potter, so you won’t even need to make a special trip. The penguins thank you for your support!

FROM THE DESK OF SEPTINA NASH

To: You, Reading This Blog
Your House
Your Home Town
Wherever That Is

Dear You,

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but that’s because you’re not a judge on the U.S. Supreme Court. Those folks can judge anything they want—book covers, pie-eating contests, and sometimes even laws.

Right at this moment, as you’re reading these words, the nine U.S. Supreme Court judges are sitting around their courthouse, rubbing pie-stains from their black robes, reading this blog, and scowling at the cover below. They’re trying to figure out whether The Penguins of Doom is a goofy-but-harmless storybook or an alien plot for warping your mind.

From the title, they probably think this book is only about penguins and doom. Too bad they haven’t read inside, or they’d also know about the mad scientists, robot doubles, rock stars, skateboards, shrink rays, empty yogurt containers, mysteriously-missing triplets, and other stuff that wouldn’t fit in the title.

The judges, seeing that this book’s cover looks a bit like a school notebook, must also think that a lot of math homework gets done during the story. Boy are they ever wrong! I didn’t get any math homework done while writing this book, and I’m pretty sure you won’t get any done while reading it. But don’t worry—you’ll learn how to write awesome excuse letters and always stay out of trouble, just like me!

Finally, the nine judges of the U.S. Supreme Court will be impressed by the serious and respectable name listed as the book’s author: GREG R. FISHBONE. It’s a name that screams out, “POWER! CHARM! HANDSOME GOOD LOOKS!” But really, I have no idea who that guy is or how he got his name printed on the cover of my book. Quinn says the publisher must have thought him up as a way to sell more copies.

The letters in this book were all written by me, Septina Nash, at my desk in homeroom, on the school bus before class, or quickly scribbled in a burger joint in Argentina. One was even written in the second-floor girls’ bathroom at O.W. Holmes Middle School, third stall from the right. I won’t tell you which letter, but you’ll totally be able to guess!

After reviewing this cover, I’m sure the judges will say: “We, the judges of the U.S. Supreme Court, nine of the greatest pie-eating champions of all time, find that The Penguins of Doom is a goofy-but-harmless storybook.”

Suckers!

Sincerely,
Septina Nash, An Alien Plot For Warping Your Mind

I want to thank everyone for their kindness and concern after rumors stated that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows would be released on 07/07/07—even though I’d already claimed that as my publishing date for The Penguins of Doom.

Sure it would be cool to read Harry’s seventh book on the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the century, but my book’s got even more sevens in it. Me and Quinn are in the seventh grade, I’m a seventh child, my parents are seventh children, and so are all four of my grandparents. You’ll find so many sevens in The Penguins of Doom that the only day it could possibly come out would be 07/07/07.

But it’s all cool now. I had a talk with J.K. and asked her to delay her book until 07/21/07. 21 is 3 times 7, so her publishing date can also be written as 07 /(7+7+7)/ 07 and that should be enough sevens for anybody!

When you read my book—and I know you will—you’ll find out that I’ve been in a lot of music videos. Usually for two to five seconds, but once for as long as seven! But I’ve never been in a music video as fun and entertaining as this one.

The song is “Word Disassociation” by Lemon Demon, because Lemon Demon rules!